It was in the 90’s when my sister who is six and a half years elder than me had to leave Lagos, Nigeria for further education in India post 1oth grade. I was less than 10 years old when a gentleman came up to me and asked me the whereabouts of my sister. All I could reply was that she was fine, thanks to the standard Sunday international calls made to my sister wherein my parents would speak to her and I would stand aside in anticipation of getting a few seconds on the call. My reply seemed insufficient to him and he said, “you don’t speak to her, so out of sight, out of mind huh???” That statement pricked me, how could he mean I did not love my sister.
In all these years, whenever I was away from a loved one, being family or friends, for some reason I would never take the extra efforts to be in touch. Yes, I did offend a lot of people unintentionally. My high school best friend, who unfortunately is no longer a friend would complain and argue with me every single time we spoke calling me selfish and what not.
People in India too, especially neighbours and relatives think I have tonnes of attitude cause I don’t do the usual poking around in everyone’s business and I limit myself to small talk. My husband being the only person who knows me honestly, thinks of me as an onion who needs to be peeled one peel at a time.
As I am getting deeper into spirituality, my social circle is reducing by the day merely because of no contact. I have started the process of listening and observing my own thoughts through meditation. There are a few moments when I feel lonely, so I decided to actively do some introspection on why don’t I have this innate need to be in touch with others in spite of not having any hard feelings, why do I crave for some solitude if I spend more than 2-3 hours with other people etc. Just being an Empath wasn’t the answer since how is it possible for somebody sitting in another continent to affect my feelings? On the other hand, I am an extrovert and can be feisty at times for the things I believe in.
In the books that I have read about spiritualty, I have come to understand the concepts of Maya (the illusion) and Brahma ( the supreme truth or Infallible way or God). In the book “Towards the silver crests of the Himalayas” by G.K. Pradhan, this has been explained exceptionally well and I urge everyone to read this book. He explained these concepts through similies and metaphors using the Sun and the mirage. The mirage is the illusion created when the sun is at it’s peak position and the illusion is lost when the sun is in any other position. The sun is unaware of the creation of the illusion through the energy emitted by it. Thus meaning, anything that is perishable is an illusion which includes any life form too.
As some other books call these illusions as experiences, they say that a soul to achieve its higher self has to go through these experiences to learn vital lessons in self realisation. So it can be said that everything that we human beings experience in our lives is what is required by our souls and it is up to us if we learn those lessons or not. If we don’t learn them, the cycle of karma will continue as it is.
In this context, we can say that being away from a loved one can also be an experience. Then again, with all the technological advancements “bringing lives closer” are we negating the same required experience? In a way, beautiful memories aren’t being formed. They are either captured in photographs, videos or trying to be continuously relived. Is being out of sight yet distantly loved and fondly remembered a lost art?